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As parents, we all want our kids to succeed in life and achieve their set goals. However, many a times, we ourselves end up pushing them towards failure. Our over-concern, over-protection and over-attachment prevent them being leaders in their lives. We don't want them to take any risk or struggle a lot; and because of that we never allow them to step out of their comfort zone.
This behavior from our side apparently makes them indecisive and they never think of doing anything that requires to step out of the shell. Do you know what are the parenting mistakes we make that prevent our kids from being leaders of tomorrow. Well, if not, read on to find out those crippling mistakes of our parenting style. Have a look:
1. Not letting kids to take risk: Our world is full of risks, and at every point there is a safety warning that we come across. Be it in personal life, or professional front, we all are prone to failures, dejection, loss, rejections and many other emotional and monetary pitfalls. Fearing that our kids might not be able to deal with the losses or they would get lost in the extremely competent world, we try our best to protect them. In this attempt of keeping them away from any sort of trouble, we end up shielding them from the healthy risk taking.
This certainly affects them adversely and their growth becomes stagnant. You will have to let them experience the risk in everything they do, only then will they learn the right method of leading their lives. If a child doesn't play outside, hurt is knee a couple of times, he will never be able to face the challenged life will throw at every point. He has to fall and rise, this is what will make him a strong and better human being. Removing risks from his life will turn him into a person with low self-esteem and high arrogance.
2. Providing instant solutions: Just think of your childhood days, were you so dependent on your parents? Did you have all the luxury of life? Did you have solutions of all your problems without even making an attempt of resolving them? We are sure, none of us had had this much privileged a life the present generation of kids has. Everything is so easily available to them. We are so quick with providing solutions to their problems that kids never learn the tough way of dealing with a problem. They never know what hardships are and life remains to be a rosy path for them. Jumping to their rescue at every time is not wise parenting. This way you are are making them lame and thus not allowing them to be a leader in all sense. Let them think of possible solutions on their own. Just guide whenever the need is.
3. Not Saying No, Fearing Kids will not Love us: Most of the parents around mold their parenting style on this very principle. Saying 'No' to kids is something we dread off thinking that if we don't give or allow them to do something, kids will not love us. Over the time our parenting becomes so materialistic that kids connect love to gifts and other perks. This apparently withdraws the child away from elemental motivation and unconditional love. Setting some limits for kids is very essential for their right upbringing. They should have the knowledge of judging the right and the wrong. Also, they must be taught the art of prioritizing things in life. Love has to be unconditional so that tomorrow they grow up learning the value of true relations and their importance.
4. Finding Perfection all the time: Negatives and positives are part of this human life. You just can't imagine anything to be perfect to the core, even technology has several glitches. When everything around has certain good and bad points, why can't we accept the same with kids also. Many of the parents refuse to admit that their child can have any negative trait. But running away from the truth will not change the reality. As parents you should know the drawbacks of your kid and try to work on them and help your child come over such drawbacks. If your child is not good at studies, work on it. Don't try to cover up his failures; instead Help your kid turning that failure into a success. Hard work matters more than winning and we must teach this to our kids so that they will always be prepared to cope with the failures.
5. Not Sharing the past mistakes: Kids have a lot to learn from our own lives, but this will only happen if we allow them to peep into our past. Hiding your past mistakes from kids is not a wise thing to do. If you want your kids to stay away from making those errors, let them learn about your experience. However, while talking of the past mistakes, don't get into too much of negativity. Share the things which you feel can help them make better choices in life.
6. Failing to understand the child's potentials: Every child has a unique talent and potential of his own. Some excel well in academics, while a few are born singers, dancers, musicians or artists. But we as parents, often make the least of attempts to know as to where our child's real potentials lie. On the contrary, we push him into something that might not be his area of interest. The competitive parenting we are surrounded from all ends, never allows us to think with an open mind. We just want our kids to do what all others around are doing. And the result, we get an unhappy and discontented adult. Never turn away from your child's potentials or the talent he has got. If you lend him the required support, he won't just master his skills but will make an effort to work on all other things he is required to do.
7. Not practicing what we preach: As parents, modeling the life we wish for our kids, needs to be our prime responsibility. However, we fail in realizing this. We advise them to be honest, truthful, polite and a responsible person, both morally and socially. But seldom do we bother to watch our own actions which in fact have a greater impact on the kids mind. Till the time we don't learn to practice what we preach, we will never be in a position to lead our kids on the right growth path. It's our duty to help them lead a life marked by character. They should be dependable and accountable of their actions. But before we teach them all of this, we must ensure that as the leaders of home, we ourselves are living up to the rules so set.