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Scene 1: Rohan, you are getting late. Hurry up! And finish the milk before your school bus comes.
Scene 2: The milk is still on the table, 6-year-old Rohan is busy playing with his video game.
Scene 3: The mother shouts back again. But Rohan is still busy with his game.
Scene 4: After yelling 4 times, the mother finally picks up the milk glass and makes Rohan drink it forcefully as his school bus was honking since 5 minutes.
Many of the parents can very well relate to this scenario where kids just turn a deaf ear to whatever they say. This is because of the lack of obedience, and if you fail to correct it today, you will only be raising a disobedient and undisciplined child; which we are sure all parents wary of.
However, raising an obedient child doesn't mean you make the kids obey your words out of fear. They must do so purely out of love and respect they have for you. Until and unless they obey you without any obligation, they will never be able to stick to it through their lives. Here let us learn the 10 wonderful ways by which you can make your kids listen to you, obey you and follow your advice. Have a look:
1. Connect with the child: First and foremost, you will have to connect with the child. You will have to acknowledge his opinion, and thoughts. If he is busy with some play activity or is engrossed in his favorite cartoon, don't try and gain his attention by either taking away the toy or turning off the TV. Give him some time to get free from his activity or if the matter requires immediate attention, request him to leave aside the work for some time. This way your child will never feel that he is being forced into something against his will.
2. The direct talk: Opt for an eye-to-eye approach as this will make the child realize you are pretty serious about the matter you want to share or discuss. When you talk to him looking straight into the eyes, he gets to know things are not to be taken for granted and his negligence can upset you.
3. Be logical with your reasoning: You will always have some valid reasons behind the instructions you give to your kids. Whether you ask them to finish their homework on time, sleep early, wake up on time or anything in general, be clear with the reasons. If you want your child to obey your instructions, he must first understand why you are giving him one. Explain to how he can have extra time to play or watch TV if he does his homework on time or how by sleeping early, he will get up on time and will never be late to school. Logical reasoning will always help the child in understanding your viewpoint.
4. Remember, yelling is not the solution: Now, this is one mistake all parents must strictly avoid making. Yelling is never an ideal solution when it comes to making your child obedient or teaching him discipline. It only instills momentary fear that forces kids to follow the instructions. Once they get a chance to get away from the fear, they will never bother to abide by your rules or regulations. Never yell at them if they don't obey you. You can instead make them understand their mistake by speaking to them in a calm tone. A stern yet softer tone will have a better impact than the harsh yelling!
5. Be authoritative not authoritarian: If you are an authoritarian parent, it's time to change your parenting style. Try to be authoritative as this will help you work out a better relation with the kids. There is equal space for both you and the child, which allows smooth running of things without disturbing the chord of harmony. Your kids will respect your instructions and follow them without being fussy about them.
6. Always be consistent: You must always be consistent with the efforts you put in to help your child grow into an obedient being. Spend quality time with the kids, observe what they are learning at school, and be updated about their everyday activity. If you put in your consistent effort, you will always find yourself connected to the kids. And they will also look up to you for suggestions and expert advice. Your instructions will then be taken care of seriously.
7. Be firm about the limits: There is no harm in setting some rules when it comes to discipline and obedience. However, don't make the rules or set limits just for the namesake. If you have made certain rules, see to it that everyone in the family including you, abide by it. If there is a rule of not talking over the phone for too long or having dinner together; ensure that you are also following them without fail. When you will do it, kids apparently feel inspired to follow your path.
8. Show respect and be considerate: Never take your kids or their thoughts for granted. Treat them with respect and be considerate. This will strengthen your bond with them and they'll give high regards to your instructions and word of advice.
9. Watch your own actions: This one's very important to consider. We have said it time and again that kids emulate your acts. They put you on pedestals and often grow up with qualities similar to yours. Disciplinarian traits such as obedience will also be impactful in them if you also model the same. If you have elderly people at home, give them due respect and obey their words so that the kids can take a cue from this behavior of yours.
10. Always reward good behavior: Everyone loves to be praised when they do anything good. The kids certainly are no exception to this unwritten rule. Whenever they obey your instructions or listen to the suggestions you give, never fail in admiring this good behavior of theirs. You don't necessarily have to shower them with gifts or lavish treats. A simple sentence like 'You are such a good boy' or ' I can see how good you are with obeying all the instructions' etc, would be enough to make them feel valued. Your words will motivate your child to practice the habit more effectively.
Making kids obey you is the first step towards helping them grow into disciplined adult. Ensure you imbibe this quality in them and they do it purely out of love and respect!