For all I know teenagers are a hard nut to crack when it comes to controlling their activities and behaviors. It is so common to see arguments and fights break out between teenagers and their parents who result in grounding them or rebellion on the side of the young teens. What’s important is to identify the most common cause of friction among teenagers and their Parents or guardians. To begin with, most teenagers like having their way in everything and it is important for their parents to know how to say no to them. All parents need to be tactful in handling the needs of their children going through a critical stage of their grooming we call as ‘Teenage’.
What parents or guardians need to do is to understand their teenagers.
Always listen first and communicate effectively
Everyone yearns to be listened, to be understood, to have a say and your teens are no exception. Listening to what they have to say and understanding them gives them a sense of belonging. This feeling reciprocates to the parents as well. A case in point where your sixteen year old teenage daughter is asked out on an evening date by a twenty five year old guy is definitely a scenario you would not easily allow. There could be umpteen reasons like you simply believe that your sixteen year old daughter is young and not yet ready to date a guy of that age. It may also be your fear that the twenty five year old guy is likely to influence your daughter into alcohol drugs or even sex. All these fears cannot be ruled out but a parent needs to use skills and tactics when communicating with their teenage sons and daughters against and of their choices and desires.
Think twice before you react to any situation
To begin with the parent should not reciprocate the anger of a teenager with theirs; this makes the situation worse than it should be. If you get angry on your teen he/she may be you don’t understand them and they may think the other way round. When your teen is angry you as parents have to be calm and patient with your child and you need to talk about the issue politely. Overreacting will cause more problems.
Never assume your teens to be wrong
Another point is for the parents to avoid singling out the reasons why they think the teenager is wrong and they are right. Parenthood should be approached as an art and in such a situation a parent should try to make their teenage son or daughter understand that they would have loved them to go out with their friends but they simply think that they are not ready for such kind of company. If this kind of communication is developed among the parents and the teenager, it will help solve many problems without having arguments and banging of doors by the teenagers. They need to be taught what’s right and wrong but in an appropriate manner.
Set their limits
Another way to say no to the desires of teenagers is by setting limits. Having limits for what they can do and what they can’t is also another way of avoiding quarrels. The limits need to be reviewed regularly as the teenagers grow. This is a big challenge since parent sometimes never realize their children have grown. So it is important to note that some barriers need to be lifted at a certain age. This will help the parent in maintaining a good relationship with their teenage sons or daughters and trust will be built between the teen and the parent during this process.
All these are tactics that can help in handling teenagers’ desires and give the parents a way to say no to unbecoming behavior or certain activities in their teenagers’ lives.