Everyday with your child seems to be a monotonous routine where you are the one doing all of his work. Right from waking him up, to thrusting a toothbrush into his mouth, from dressing him up to tying the shoes laces and feeding breakfast; you seem to be doing each and everything.
It does upset you and leave you wondering as to when will your child learn to do the things on his own without much of your help or support. Well, it's indeed a sad thing that your child is still dependent on you for such everyday activities. But the mistake lies in your hands. It's actually you who has turned him this way. Nevertheless, you still have time and if paid a little attention, your child will surely learn to take responsibility of his own things and activities. Here go through the steps that would help you out:
1. Don’t spoon feed your child
Do not assume your child of being incapable of doing things without your help. If you end up doing all your child’s work, you not just create trouble for yourself but for the child as well. Make him do his things on his own irrespective of the mistakes he makes. This is how he will learn and be less dependent on you.
2. Don’t get anxious
Don’t get anxious by your child’s behavior- though it is easier said being done, it is better if you know how to deal with the helplessness that comes with your child’s behavior rather than doing every job yourself.
3. Set your priorities
How much is too much? You have to draw a line of the things that you do for your child. Let him struggle with his set of problems. He will surely learn to deal with them. Do not put everything on a platter for him.
4. Motivate him
You should motivate your child for responsible behavior- kids emulate what they see. You have to make him learn all these things from the very beginning. If you start managing every aspect of his life, you will restrain the child from applying his brain and in turn make him a passive learner.
5. Don’t trespass his boundaries
Stop invading in your child’s boundaries- we do such things for our own satisfaction. Don't live under the false notion that your child can't do this or do that. Until and unless you let him give a try, you will never know what his skills are and what all things can he do on his own without your help.
6. Adjust to the new guidelines
Learn to cope with the new set of guidelines- if you feel you are doing too much for your child and want to correct your behavior, you may encounter days when your child will make you feel guilty for your changed behavior. Do not get bogged down by such incidences.
7. Be Strong
Be prepared to accept challenges- you are not used to these kinds of feelings and it will take a lot of time before you get used to it. Be prepared to be hurt, and curb the feeling to reach out to your child every now and then.
8. It’s never too late
Do not wait; just get started. There is no right or wrong time for learning; the moment you realize the problem, start on the rectification mode.
9. Patience is the key
Be prepared for a fall out on the same. Your child will of course now have to do the things that were been done by you so effortlessly, earlier. It will take some time before he adapts to the new rules; do not get impatient.
10. Give him time
Your job is to make him learn a skill, not keep on doing it every time. Make sure you explain each skill patiently and in detail to your child. After that, leave the kid to deal with the same himself. Do not reach out to help; he will surely learn it in his own way.
Loving kids doesn't always mean you have to make them dependent on you for petty things. It's more about making them strong and wise enough to take on the responsibilities with ease.