It is very natural for your baby to become hyterical when he doesn't see you around. The process of seeing that your child eases into your brief periods of absence is very challenging for a parent. Which mother would be okay to see their baby cry and still leave them? Yes, it is heartbreaking and tough, but the separation process is very crucial.
Every child goes through this. However, for some babies it is harder than the others. The term that is used is 'Separation anxiety'. As the name suggests it’s a fear among infants/toddlers of being separated from their parents or guardians. It’s natural that your little one cries or clings onto you as you are leaving the room. In early childhood crying, tantrums or clinginess are healthy reactions to separation. Separation anxiety can begin before a child’s first birthday and fades as the child gets older. But sometimes toddlers may experience more serious form of the condition with persistent anxieties, called separation anxiety disorder. There are the things you can do if you have a child with either of these issues.
What are the signs of sepraration anxiety?
Separation anxiety is typically most prevalent between 8-18 months or so. The main differences between healthy separation anxiety and separation anxiety disorder are the intensity of your child’s fears, and whether these fears interrupt him/her from normal activities. Following conditions can be the sign of separation anxiety disorder
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Your child dislikes being separated from you.
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He/she refuses to go to child care, preschool or school.
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He/she complains about feeling sick when separated.
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Refuses to sleep anywhere without you.
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Cling to your arm or leg if you attempt to step out.
How can you ease separation anxiety?
Wave bye-bye when you leave
Tell your child when you’re leaving and when you’ll be back. This is a helpful thing to do, even with babies. Some parents feel that it will be easier to sneak out when their child is engaged, but this can make things worse. Your child might feel confused or upset when he/she realizes you are not around, and might then be more difficult to settle the next time you leave him/her.
Provide a consistent pattern with the child
Try to follow a consistent pattern at the same time each day you separate. A routine can allow your child to simultaneously build trust in his/her independence and you.
Involve your child in an activity
Before leaving, engage your child in an enjoyable activity. Also keep a relaxed and happy expression on your face when you’re leaving your child. If you seem worried or sad, your child might think the place isn’t safe and can get upset too.
Encourage the child by making stories
Read books or make up stories with your child about separation fears. For example ‘Once upon a time, there was a brave girl who remained with her grandmother for 3 days continuously in the absence of her mom. She was afraid of what she might find outside. This might help your child feel that he/she’s not alone while being separating from his/her parents.
Aware the surrounding
Aware your child’s care centre, preschool or school about his/her anxiety, and let them know about anything you’re doing to help your child. This way, other people in your child’s environment can give him consistent support.
Praise your child’s efforts
Use the smallest of accomplishments – going to bed without a fuss, a good report from preschool/school, as reason to give your child a positive reinforcement.
Familiar your child with caretaker in your presence
If you are a working parent and you leave your child to the caretaker, you should make all the efforts to familiarize your child with the caretaker. During the initial days of separation, you must spend some time with the child while he/she is in the company of caretaker. Then gradually you can decrease your time while letting your child know that caretaker is here for all his/her needs.