What do you tell your child about rape, or for that matter, any form of sexual abuse?
Depending upon how old your child is, talk to her about sexual assault in an open, direct manner. Do not attempt to ‘talk’ down to her, or adopt a diffident or reluctant manner, as this will only create a sense of distrust in your child.
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Adopting an open attitude will help to give your daughter the impression that she can talk to you on any issue at any time.
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Talk to her openly and educate her with the names of all the body parts so that she learns the language to ask questions or when she has issues about them.
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Teach your child to recognize that some parts of her body are private.
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Let her know that no other person should be touching or feeling her private parts. Only you as a parent or a caregiver should be allowed to touch them.
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Tell her that if someone does try to touch her body or wants to look at her private parts, she should immediately tell someone she trusts as soon as possible.
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Let her know that it is quite alright to say ‘no’ to a touch that makes them feel uncomfortable.
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This could sometimes prove embarrassing as your child may shy away from even familiar people who want to give her a hug or a kiss! So you shall have to work around this situation and see that she greets people in ways that do not involve any uncomfortable touching.
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The key to the whole issue is to be open about it, and telling children things openly about issues like sex, sexuality and sexual abuse teaches them that these concerns are not ‘dirty’ or they do not have to be swept ‘under’ the carpet.
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Do not try and put all the information at once, under one big ‘talk’ about sex.
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Instead, see to it that talking about sex should flow like routine conversations.
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Those who perpetrate abuse will try and tell the child that the whole thing should be kept one big secret. Let your child know that if someone is talking or doing things to them that is not normal and that does not make them feel comfortable, then they should not keep it a secret but should tell you at once.
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Ensure that your child feels protected and gets your understanding and support if they come and tell you their issues.
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